There are really two significant times in your life where you need and want your mom by your side which is your wedding day and the day you give birth to your first child. Once again my mom and I were robbed of experiencing another life changing event together. I gave birth to my first baby on January 16, 2015 with my husband by my side but no family. My father passed away three weeks before my daughter Maya was born and my mom wasn't able to come and be with me due to her illness. I remember when I told her that I was pregnant. I wrote at the end of a Mother's Day card that my husband and I were expecting and her response wasn't the response I hoped for. My mom wasn't trying being mean and I knew she didn't intend to hurt my feelings but I was really hurt by her response. Her mind just didn't allow her to be in the present and remember that I am a grown woman who was married and financially able to take care of a baby. In her mind, I was still a teenager in high school and not able to take care of a baby. Alzheimer's disease effects everyone differently and my mom constantly would forget I was an adult. It is very easy to have a conversation with an Alzheimer's patient about their past because their long term memory is still intact while their short term memory is completely gone. Although I didn't have my mom or dad at that time, I had an amazing husband and my two best friends who came to be with me. On October 10th, I am walking for those future "new moms" who have a loved one battling this disease and needs their mom/dad by their side either in the delivery room or when they bring their baby home.
Due to the decline of my mom's health, the last few years have been very difficult for my family. She isn't the same and will never be the same. We have accepted that and have learned to live in the moment and enjoy our "moments" with her. I go to NC on a regular basis to spend time with her and so she can spend time with her granddaughter. She literally LIGHTS up like a Christmas tree when she sees my daughter Maya. They have an amazing connection. She knows in the moment that Maya is her granddaughter. She can't call her name, doesn't know how old she is, or even her favorite things but she DOES know that she is her grandbaby and that's all that matters to me. God has allowed her to see me become a mom and I am forever grateful for that. The first time I brought my daughter home to meet my family she was 6 weeks old. I remember rocking Maya to sleep and my mom was watching me and in the softest and sweetest voice she said, "you are a good mom." Those words were music to my ears and I will never forget that moment. I take lots of pictures and videos of her with my daughter so I am able to show her when she is older. We also fill my mom's house with lots of pictures of her family so she knows she is loved.
I am sharing my story with one sole purpose in mind, which is to bring awareness to this disease and how so many caregivers and family members are affected on a daily basis. If you able to join #teamshirleymae and walk with us on October 9th, it would be great. If you can't join the walk, a donation of any amount would be much appreciated. I am hopeful that a cure will be found soon which could help save someone else's mom, dad, grandmom, grandfather, brother, sister and friend.
Together, we can advance research to treat and prevent Alzheimer's, provide programs and support to improve the lives of millions of affected Americans.
Thank you for helping advance Alzheimer's support, care and research.
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