The mind is sharp, inquisitive, engaging. And then, it's not. It's slow, it's forgetful, it's repeating questions minute by minute, even after only a few seconds. It's accusatory, someone is purposely moving things from where they are supposed to be, or someone is stealing from them. It is not recognizing people, even family. It's bewildering, scary, fearful, and then isolating if one lives through it long enough.
It's noticing your spouse is not so sharp, forgetting words for everyday things, family member names, even how to drive safely and now doing the driving yourself. It's trying to communicate with that spouse in the only way you both know how—just like you have for the last 40 or 50 years of marriage. It is incessantly hearing the same questions that grow to hit you like pins and needles. It's recognizing that nervousness begets incessant questions that grow to hit you like pins and needles. It's trying to rationalize the need for going to the doctors or driving to family for a holiday and repeatedly answering their questions about where they are and where they are going - 10+ times in 30 minutes, when they used to navigate the town like a knife through butter. It's the deep sadness of recognizing they are no who we knew—and that they are never going to be themselves again.
And we watch and cry and wait for it to take them from us giving us sadness and giving relief at last to them and to us.
Experiencing Alzheimer’s or any type of dementia is just hard for them and for us. And in all of it, we try to love as we have, to hold them tighter, and to find meaning in the moments that remain.
Alzheimer’s isn’t stopping and neither are we. By participating in the Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s, I’m raising awareness and funds to advance the fight against this disease — funds that allow the Alzheimer’s Association to provide 24/7 care and support while accelerating critical research.
Families facing Alzheimer’s and all other dementia need us — and with your help, we can be there for them. Please make a donation or register as a participant and start your own fundraising efforts. Together, we can end Alzheimer’s disease.
Thank you for your support!
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