My mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's Disease at the age of 65 years old. My family and I had been concerned for a few years by that point. Eventually it became undeniable that something was wrong and we needed answers. Little did we know the journey that we were about to embark on as a family by caring for, loving and protecting her fiercely in every way we knew how. We researched Alzheimer’s, consulted with medical experts and learned as much as possible about the disease in the coming months. The more we learned about it’s devastating progression, the more we found ourselves in complete disbelief of our new reality as a family.

It's these kinds of helpless circumstances in life that bring you to your knees. The type that remind you just how precious and fragile life is. My perspective has changed immensely since her diagnosis over 8 years ago. It serves as a constant reminder to be grateful for the time I had with her and even more so for the time we have left. I try to savor every moment with her. I smile and complement her, I cry with her, I laugh with her, I stroke her hair and I always, always hug her like it might be the last time.

My mom doesn't know my name anymore. She doesn't necessarily know that I'm her daughter or that mine are her grandchildren. Her vocabulary is extremely limited now and she struggles with tasks that most of us take for granted every. single. day. The basic facts of life and associations don't register for her anymore, but what I've come to realize is that all of those things we commonly identify with and maybe even pride ourselves on - simply don't matter.

In the grand scheme, all that really matters now is to love and be loved. What matters is that she still smiles when she sees me even if she cannot express her emotions the way she would like. She still hugs me the same and holds my hand. She still says, "I love you" even when I know that she could never write it down on paper. She recognizes the emotional connection and closeness that is the love between us. It doesn't really matter who I am to her or if she remembers all the memories we have made, because all she has now is the present. All she has is this very moment in time and when I sit next to her and look into her eyes I can still feel the deep love that she has for me too. These moments with her are true blessings in disguise.

My older sisters and I are so fortunate to have had the unconditional love of my mother growing up. Mom would do anything for us. That's who she was. Thoughtful, selfless and caring. She was the happiest when we were happy. Although this has become increasingly painful to witness, I take solace in knowing that she can still sense my presence, my emotions and my genuine love and adoration for her.

Update:

 After a long, relentless battle with this disease, my mom passed away on December 6, 2023.  Since then, I have committed to honor her memory and the wonderful life she lived, by raising awareness in desperate hope of finding further treatment or ultimately, a cure for Alzheimer’s Disease. 

If you can give, please do. Even if you can share this, it would be so appreciated. Every little bit helps. Lastly, continued prayers and love to every person/family fighting this brutal disease one long day at a time. You are not alone.  #ENDALZ #AlzheimersAwareness #findacure #walktoendAlz #mom #loveherso #preciousmemories #shineyourlight

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