It has been 8 years since I started this journey with my mother, who is now 82 years old. The struggle with this disease is real. For 8 years my mother has struggled to live life with some sort of dignity. For the first 2 years, we went out to places and ate and danced as much as we could because those are two of her loves. It was clear that her memories were fading as her confusion worsened with each passing month. I can't really remember exactly when it happened, but I believe year 2 was when she forgot my name, but not quite who I was. The next 2 years, she lost her verbal ability and could barely put a sentence together and needed help with all personal care. I am certain in these 2 years that the recognition that I am her daughter was lost and replaced with a comforting familiarity. Then in the next 2 years, she lost the motor skills to feed herself and was totally dependent on others for her personal care. These past 2 years mom is totally wheelchair bound and cannot move her body much at all. Feeding her is becoming more difficult as she goes in and out of sleep most of the days. Her muscle memory is failing her and her weakening body is evident. These physical observations of the Long Goodbye journey are only half of the story. The other half comes from what I learned about myself, my husband, my family, and my friends. It has taught me that there is no greater purpose on this earth than to love unconditionally. And as hard as my journey has been these 8 years, I would do it all again just to see that smile that still comes through in the woman that I am proud to call my mother.
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