Because of this disease, I missed out on knowing who she was. From her knowing who I was/am. I missed out on the grandmother/granddaughter relationship with her. I have memories of course. My memories consist of a woman who didn't know where she was or who we all were each time I visited. She was not the strong woman in the stories I had heard from my dad. But a small frail woman, who seemed more scared than anything. Im sure she was scared. I can't imagine what it was like for her. Not knowing where she was or who these people were that surrounded her. She passed away in June of 2000, when I was almost 20. She may have lived longer than that if she had not been ravished by this disease. I missed 20+ years.
All diseases affect more than just the individual who was diagnosed. Loved ones walk the journey with them. Its not quite the same journey but none the less they are there and feel every heartache, every milestone along side the person. Alzheimer's, I feel, is one of the worst on the family. With other diseases its hard but the person knows you. You can provide each other support. With this disease its not like that. I remember watching my dad when we would visit. While he wouldn't let it show i could see every time she didn't recognize him as her son, her first born, the person who made her a mom, it broke a little more of his heart. The mother who should love you unconditionally forever is suddenly afraid of you because she doesn't know who you are. It rips your heart out. My Dad was brave and never stopped visiting when he could. Because even if she couldn't remember him, he remembered her. Loved her, cherished her. My dad remembered the mother he once knew. He remembers their relationship not only for himself, but for her also.
My childhood with/without my grandma Chandler and the journey my dad and grandpa took is why I walk.
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I'm leading the way to Alzheimer's first survivor by participating in the Alzheimer's Association Walk to End Alzheimer's®. Currently, more than 5 million Americans have Alzheimer's and that number is expected to grow to as many as 16 million by 2050. Our future is at risk unless we can find a way to change the course of this disease.
Together, we can end Alzheimer's disease. Please make a donation to advance the care, support and research efforts of the Alzheimer's Association.
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