I can’t believe it has been almost a year since you passed away. No one can prepare you for what it is like to lose a parent and then it just happens. I felt complete numbness, shock, deep sadness and at times livid. An anniversary or birthday comes and I could feel the wave of emotions all over again. It took time, but I finally accepted the fact that you are gone and in a much better place. I look back at pictures and know this is not the life you would have wanted. You were so full of life, wild, resilient, funny, beautiful, smart, classy, and now you are finally free. I imagine you in the clouds, painting with a glass of Chardonnay in your hand, an occasional tennis match and endless shopping. My mind still talks to you, my heart still looks for you, but my soul knows you are at peace.
A good friend told me to look for the signs because you will always be with me. I have felt your presence on several occasions. One time in particular, I was running on my favorite trail and all of a sudden the sun beamed down and the wind started blowing on a perfectly still day. I still get chills just thinking about it. I like to think you were running along beside me. In other instances, I take a picture and see a faint rainbow or light that appears in them. I feel when you are so close with someone that not even death can separate you. I guess that is the power of unconditional love.
I have changed this past year. I am no longer afraid of most things and want to live life to the fullest. I want to seek every adventure, challenge myself, do the hard thing and do all the things that used to scare me. I cannot wait since tomorrow is not promised. One thing I no longer do is try to keep up and just do my own thing. I stay in my own lane and ride my own wave. I may get these traits from both you and Dad ; )
I talk about you all the time to your grandchildren. Sienna loves your stories, especially the fence one. She sleeps with your pink bear every night. It still smells like you. Tristan talks about how he is going to steal you back from heaven. This always makes me laugh.
So many friends have reached out and shared that their families are also suffering because of this horrible disease. The fight must go on for them and everyone else suffering from Alzheimer’s. My family and I will be walking on Saturday, October 16th at the Berks County walk. Please consider making a donation in memory of my beautiful Mom or joining Team Deedee that day. Every donation will benefit the Alzheimer’s Association.
Thank you for your ongoing love and support of my family.
Thank you for helping advance Alzheimer's support, care and research.
I have raised
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