Why I Ride: I have watched my family suffer from this condition as 3 of my family members have been affected by this treacherous disease. I am forever changed by watching my great-grandmother slowly go from the best potato roll baker in town to not knowing how to safely use an oven. I am forever hurt as I saw my grandmother, a woman I idolized growing up, have nearly every memory of her loved ones slowly erased in retrograde fashion over the course of 15 years. By the end of her life, it seemed to me the only person she recognized was her older sister. I saw the matriarch of my family, a nurturer and my rock, change personalities- becoming unrecognizable to me as she threatened her loved ones by knife or by mention of her “Smith and Wesson”- and, eventually, becoming a shell of her vibrant self.
Suffering the emotional loss of a family member is difficult when their human life form is still very much present. It is difficult when you look at them in admiration/adoration based on the years of their love and the returned look in their eyes demonstrates a void. The loving, warm gaze they once returned now seeming distant, maybe even cold- as if you were a stranger. Here I was silently hoping, despite the years of medical training, that my grandmother would one day “return to me.” Only to have this hope, which I never realized I held, become shattered at the eventual physical loss of the shell she had become. I lost my grandmother TWICE. I am now seeing this play out in her baby sister.
No one should have to endure the loss of a loved one twice. Those who have Alzheimer’s are certainly suffering- what is human connection if not for shared memories? - however, the loved ones also suffer as they stand by powerlessly watching as the human in front of them morphs, slowly becoming a shell of their former selves; physically recognizable but truly becoming a different life form. Imagine someone you love with all your might, sitting right in front of you, and you’re wishing you could see their smile again, hear their laugh again, hear their voice again, hear their song again, hear their opinions again, share memories again….
My grandmother has had a HUGE impact on my life: from memories we once shared to the ones, that in the last 10 years of her life, I carried alone. So now, I will be riding my bicycle hoping to help end this dreadful disease.
Right now, there is no shortage of ideas in Alzheimer's research - only dollars. Which is why I am asking for your support. I am participating on the Ride to End ALZ, a fully-supported, cycling event that supports the Alzheimer's Association's efforts to discover methods of treatment and prevention for Alzheimer's disease.
With each mile I ride, I am raising funds to advance research toward the first survivor of Alzheimer's. Thank you for cheering me on.
Cheer Me On!