• Email a friend
• Create a page like this
• Click here to bookmark this page

A Tribute To The Nicest Best Man, Our Dad

Our dad passed away on 8/26/2009 from a combination of Alzheimer disease and cardiovascular problems. He was diagnosed during his late 70's and by age 80, he had lost his ability to speak but not to laugh. Slowly thereafter, he lost his ability to walk, to smile and to recognize those whom he loved and lived his life for. By age 83 he was confined to a bed where he took refuge on that unknown and lonely universe caused by Alzheimer. Our dad passed away not long ago, with our mother and family at his side.

The way he lived, his dedication and love for his family is undeniably a good reason to celebrate his life. What is hard to resolve is that on his last years of life, he had forgotten what he lived for and what he achieved.

But we will celebrate his life and we thank him for the unreserved love he gave us.
Dad was a wonderful man. He was distinguished by the unconditional love he demonstrated towards his wife and his family, for his high sense of justice, for his kindness and generosity, for his diligent and honest advice and his easy and comforting smile. When we needed him, he was there, happy and pleased to help, and when we believed we did not needed him, he was there also.

Dad taught us to enjoy life with simplicity but fully, with dignity and respect for everything and everyone. His example was his best gift.

Although he is no longer with us, he will always remain in our lives.

Perhaps the best words to describe our dad are those expressed by my sister on 8/30/2009. Her words, her story, is our story. It is the reason we celebrate his life. So, indulge us for a moment as we share with you excerpts of these private but heartfelt words:

To "Papi" (daddy):

"Papi" was the typical good person; but the word "good" strikes me as empty and abstract. He was generous with his time and his possessions. He was calm, loving, honest and kind, very understanding and an exaggerated optimist, always looking on the bright side of things. I think what best describes my dad is that he was a family man. He was not a perfect man, but with us, he tried to be the least imperfect as possible."

"What I saw at home was that his wife was always the most important, followed immediately by their children, as it should be. Everything else was secondary. He lived his life enjoying us. My recollection is that we were always together; we sat down to eat after he turned off the TV and we talked at the dinner about everything and anything. Or, he would welcome me in his office and he tried, without much success, to explain those engineering blueprints which I never understood. Although he was very busy, he always interrupted his work to devote a few minutes to explain, for the umpteenth time, what those rolls of papers meant."

"On Sundays, we went for a country drive, and he occasionally took advantage of the route to stop and inspect some of his construction work. We complained, mind you, but somehow I always ended very happy mounted on the crane or the sow shoveling mud. And it was on those drives, and the many other occasions we shared together, that I learned the lesson of respect for others when I saw my dad interacting with his workers, face to face as equal, with an incredible deference, and for me, almost with reverence. I learned a lot watching him as a professional and I can attest to how much he was loved and respected by those who worked with him. "

"Dad did not build buildings that bear his name, but led a successful business with the undeniable reputation that kept us very comfortably. He did not build a bridge that is in the engineering journals, but he built not only the house, but the home where he lived until his last day and where, with our mother, raised a solid family. For me, the real strength and longevity of my father is in the legacy of his greatest achievement: his home and his family."

"It is very difficult to visualize my dad without seeing him next to my mother, or vice versa. They were two in one. They were together for over 60 years and achieved a functional family, which is a rarity today. The truth is that I enjoyed the marriage of my parents. I am proud of that marriage. And, if anything I can guarantee is that, thanks to them, I know that there is genuine love."

"As a teacher, I have often had to comfort one or another student barely 20 year old who is now sadly disillusioned with love. And the first thing I do is bring them the example of my parents, and offer thereby, a little faith."

"This intense love, so real, so legitimate, I felt until last Wednesday, when "Papi" decided it was time to rest. Still, when Dad had long since taken refuge in that personal universe, unreachable to the rest of us, my mother was there for him and with him, with absolute dedication to him. Thanks mom. I am extremely proud of you. And thanks Dad. I had the privilege of being your daughter. I cannot ask for more. Until we reunite again. God bless you."