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Being around people and communicating with people were the highlight of my mother's day. If she could not be with people, she would spend most of her time on the phone. Fortunately, dementia did not impact her memory of those she loved. Her long-term memory was intact, but what she ate for breakfast was a memory long gone. Driving in town, she always thought I had found a new route. Every place we went was new!
On my mother's 86th birthday she fractured her hip and had a successful surgery. However, her ability to walk and her desire to eat were gone. She woke up in the hospital terrified of her unfamiliar surroundings every day. The nurses and other healthcare providers were very professional and very compassionate, but my husband and I needed to be with her much of the day to help curb the anxiety and thoughts of conspiracies. (We are retired!) Because of her fear we chose the rehab facility closest to our home. When they transferred my mother to rehab, the anxiety of her new surroundings was equally terrifying. She soon grew to trust her caregivers. However, if we were not there to coax her to participate in PT/OT, she would refuse to exercise, to sit up, to walk, or to do breathing exercises. Eventually, she would only take a few sips and she would whisper when she spoke. There were many 'sundowning' episodes of mistrust and conspiracies. After two weeks of rehab, the healthcare team recommended long term. This was a blessing; long term care was at the same facility, and it was familiar to my mother. No longer terrifying.
My mom who loved food and loved people resisted all attempts by family, other residents, and all the healthcare professionals to eat, to practice her breathing exercises, to get out of bed, and to join in activities. Five weeks to the day after her fall, she passed away. Was it the fall, the anesthesia, the unfamiliar surroundings, the pain medicine (for the first few days after surgery she took little), that made the dementia go from a mild/moderate stage to a moderate/severe stage? What was going on in the brain? With your donation someday we will know!