6/20/24 - It's already been 5 months since my mom passed away from Alzheimer's. I still get emotional at times - find myself choked up and I either cry it out or push it down for another time.
On the 3rd month of Mom passing, I went into the hospital to have my left knee replaced. My dad had assigned himself as my caregiver for my recovery. I had sent him an email of "what to expect" for the first couple of weeks and we got through it together. That day had some super hard moments. It was the first time my dad was in a hospital since my mom died, let alone on the three month anniversary. My heart ached for both of us. We gripped hands the entire time up to me heading to the Operating Room, and I can tell you he was stronger than me. After surgery, when he was allowed to come into my recovery room, I caught the look on his face before he saw me - fear and worry. I had a big smile ready for him and he looked so incredibly relieved. I stayed overnight at the hospital, but my daughter had planned a wonderful way to celebrate my mom with my dad.
My daughter took my dad to one of the nearby beaches. She'd packed chairs, dinner, some cups and wine. My mom LOVED the beach! Dad and my daughter set up the chairs, ate their dinner and toasted to my mom. The sunset that night was glorious and my dad was so appreciative for all of it. While my daughter wandered to look at the shoreline, my dad sat in his chair, watching the waves and reflecting.
No one ever prepares you for life after someone passes from Alzheimers. The caregivers suddenly have all this free time in their lives - free from worry and strain. Free from being asked over and over "where are we? when can we go? I want to go home." Free from sleeping with one eye open to make sure your loved one doesn't hurt themselves. My dad and my brother were my mom's caregivers. They had promised her they would never place her in a "home." They had a routine to give each other some relief, some time to get out of the house, time for oneself. But after she died, there was all of this TIME which definitely was a huge change for them. But, slowly, they began to have some sort of "normal" life again. My brother has been trying new restaurants, browsing antique shows, checking out car shows. My dad is back to golfing. He meets his friends for weekly breakfast, has joined a book club and he's also able to focus on his work for his church and writing grants. I think I worried that they were staying busy to mask their pain at my mom's death. But what they are doing is LIVING and my mom would be so happy about that.
This June 29th would have been their 61st wedding anniversary. Last year, I planned a 60th anniversary celebration that was somewhat of a disaster as my mom refused to get out of bed (there was no reasoning with her and she became beyond agitated by us insisting she get up). We had family come from Michigan and they learned how much Mom's condition had progressed. It wasn't pretty. However, the silver lining was that my dad was able to see some old and dear friends and family as well as visit with his near and dear friends. The only 2 people missing were my mom and my brother (who was watching my mom).
This year, my dad and I will be enjoying the "family vacation" in Ogunquit. Three years ago marked the last time we tried to get my mom to enjoy herself in Ogunquit, but she would pack up the car in the middle of the night and tell my dad she wanted to go home. Over and over. They cut their last vacation short and went back to Western MA. It used to be a vacation of my parents, my daughter and myself with my niece sometimes popping up. I had asked my dad if it would be too much to go back to our familiar place without my mom, let alone on their anniversary date. He had the best reply - "I can sit at home, reflect and be sad or I can be in beautiful Maine enjoying the beach and reflecting and knowing how much your mom enjoyed it there." That is the right attitude. LIVE LIFE!
________________________________________________________________
My 1st Post - As I reflect on the recent passing of my mother, Joyce, and her dear friend, Nancy, I am reminded of the devastating impact of Alzheimer's disease. It is with a heavy heart that I acknowledge the toll this illness takes on not only the individuals affected, but also their families and loved ones.
The loss of my mother and Nancy within weeks of each other serves as a poignant reminder of the urgent need for a cure for Alzheimer's. The memories of these remarkable women live on in our hearts, and I find solace that they are now at peace.
Alzheimer's is a relentless disease that affects countless individuals and their families. The lack of a cure only adds to the burden carried by those impacted. It is a sobering reality that motivates me to take action in support of finding a cure. #CureAlzheimers
In addition to honoring my mother and Nancy, I walk in solidarity with the caregivers who selflessly provide support and care to those affected by Alzheimer's. Whether they are family members, friends, healthcare professionals, or researchers, their dedication is invaluable and deserving of recognition. #ResearchForACure
I am also deeply grateful for the compassionate care and support provided by hospice workers and the teams that surround them. Their efforts ensure dignified deaths for those battling Alzheimer's, offering comfort and solace during a challenging time. #ForgetMeNot
My mother bravely faced Alzheimer's for eight years before her passing, enduring the heartbreaking loss of her memories and the fears that accompanied this cruel illness. Witnessing her journey has strengthened my resolve to advocate for a future free from the grips of Alzheimer's. #AlzheimersAwareness
As I embark on the #walk2endalz, I humbly ask for your support through donations, prayers, and kind thoughts. Your generosity will contribute to vital research and support services for those affected by Alzheimer's.
If you are interested in joining me on this meaningful endeavor, please reach out. Together, we can make a difference in the fight to #endalz.
With deep appreciation,
Katie
My Progress
Thank you for helping advance Alzheimer's support, care and research.
4709.5
I have raised
5000
My Goal
My Achievements
Fundraiser
Top Fundraiser
T-shirt
Champion
Grand Champion
Elite Grand Champion
Storyteller
Facebook Fundraiser
10 DONATIONS
25 DONATIONS
50 DONATIONS