Jourdan Banks

is participating to honor:

Fred Peters

Jourdan Banks
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$220 Raised

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My Story

Instead of re-sharing facts we can all find on Google about Alzheimer’s, I wanted to share a part of the eulogy I gave at his funeral. We all know I can be long winded, so I avoided the entire thing. It only felt right to honor the OG of storytelling with a tale of my own.

A Whole Whole Lot

Time is a weird thing. It’s what keeps everything from happening all at once. It tests our patience. It heals hearts, it heals bones. Having too little of it makes us anxious, and having too much makes us bored. It doesn’t stop for anyone or anything.

My grandpa was a man who spent all his time building, creating, learning and influencing the lives of those around him, only to spend his final days not remembering any of it. That’s the sad sort of beauty in Alzheimer’s. It’s as if the time they’ve spent on earth was just this beautiful accident and everything in between were just the pieces left behind.

That being said, I think it’s only fitting we take the time today to remember for him. To remember the family he built, the lives he’s impacted, the friends he’s made, and the memories and time we were lucky enough to have spent with him. We are here today to remember the life, and remember for, Frederick Alvin Peters.


"He always used to ask me in the middle of an unrelated conversation, “Jourdan, do you know how much I love you?” When I was little, I’d extend my arms as far as I could and say, “This much?!” He’d always nod and we’d laugh about it. It became our thing. As I grew, my arms grew, and the distance I could spread my arms got larger and larger. Every time he’d ask, it’s as if I had more room to hold all that love.

I remember the last time he asked me this question. It was a while after he’d been diagnosed. He was sitting in his favorite corner chair and we were discussing how crazy I was for not wanting to move back to the West Coast; his favorite topic of discussion. He said, “You know Jourdan, I think you’re crazy for staying out there, but I guess I love you anyways. Do you know how much I love you?” I remember thinking in that moment this may be the last time he’d remember this verbal game we’d been playing all these years. So, I didn’t spread my arms that time. Instead, I said, “a whole whole lot, grandpa.” “Damn right!” he’d said back."


You’re all here to remember for Fred moments like these and foster those memories to live on. I can only remember for him what he was the last 25 years. Less than a quarter of his life I’ve spent with him and he’s made me into the person I’ll be for the next 25. Death and loss suck. Don’t get it twisted. But, ‘tragedies will always be found in the things we love. And if we are not willing to see the beauty in losing something that means the world to us, then imagine how terrible it will be to live for them. We must always welcome the end of all things. For sometimes, knowing nothing lasts forever, is the only way we can learn to fall in love with all the moments and all the people that are meant to take our breath away’. - RM Drake

In the end, he may not have remembered his wife, me, his birthday, or how much I loved him, but I promised I’d be doing the remembering now, and I will always know how much he loved me. A whole whole lot.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and participating in the Longest Day with me!!

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