Frank & Betty Madison and George Smida

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We would like to share a little bit about three of the most influential and meaningful people in our lives: George Smida (Kyle's Grandfather), Frank Madison (Ann's Grandfather), and Betty Madison (Ann's Grandmother). All of these loved ones have shared many amazing character traits, one of the largest being their devotion to their family and their communities.

George Smida: I loved my grandpa, but I wish I could have learned more from him. I knew of his accomplishments, his work with the MS bike ride fundraising, his years of dedicated work at Honeywell and of course his efforts at Airmo. I knew him as a warm, funny and caring person from holidays and family get-togethers. I know there was a wise and inspired mind behind such a welcoming exterior but by the time I saw and wanted to learn what he knew, Alzheimer's had already started robbing him or everything that made him what he was. My Grandpa was a great man and I'll never truly know what made him tick. I wish I had just a little more time when my Grandpa was at his peak mental ability so I could ask him what he thought about the current political climate or what he does to get the best shaves, I have so many questions for him. I know I can get second hand experience from others but that would never be as accurate as directly from him.
I remember visiting once, a few years ago now, and walking with him into the kitchen. I sat down on one of the stools at the counter and he walked into the main cooking area to get a cup of coffee. Before he actually started to make a cup he turned to me and started stumbling over words "would you?..*huff*...*tsk*... *sigh*...would you?..*huff*". He was trying to ask me if I wanted a cup of coffee to, he had forgotten the words to offer to make a cup of coffee. He stood there visibly frustrated, looking down, he would close his eyes and pause, then sigh, and strain to pull the words back but to no avail. He then started gesturing to the coffee maker "would you?... *tap**tap*" he put his hand on top of the machine. I knew at this point what he was trying to say and asked him if he was offering to get me a cup of coffee, "yes", he said. I don't remember if I took him up on that coffee or not, but I remember that was when I saw what Grandma was talking about. At that point he could still do most tasks but he was slipping away, and it wouldn't be much longer that he wouldn't be able to remember my name. In the last few years, Grandpa grew noticeably quieter and quieter, which was not who he was. He always seemed to know who I was, or at least recognized I was someone who knew him. It's hard to tell if he actually remembered me or he was just that warm and welcoming that he still would give hugs when coming over or leaving from a visit.

Alzheimer's belongs to a special class of diseases that affect the mind, where your ability to think and remember becomes less and less of what you used to be able to. Your memories steadily fade away, robbing you of all the experiences that make a person who they are, leaving behind almost a living ghost for their loved ones to care for. A lot of diseases will inevitably lead to death but few cause you to forget who you are, forget those who love you and leave you surrounded by strangers, in an unfamiliar place, even though you have known them for years.

Everyday doctors and researchers are making progress towards finding better treatments and a cure, and we can be a part of that. Because of our Grandfathers, Ann and I are asking for donations to the Alzheimer's Association instead of registering for gifts. Together we can help fight against this heartrending disease so hopefully fewer people have to experience a loved one slowly fade away.

Frank & Betty Madison: “Alright, well I love you and keep studying hard… thank you for being you - I love you.” That was how my grandpa ended almost every conversation we ever had. Not many people truly understand the power that phrase can have on a person, but my grandpa did. He was just that kind of person. I look back on my life and how he was there for every major event, and how much I will miss him at my wedding.

Growing up, we lived about 1,000 miles apart, so a lot of our connection stemmed from the weekly phone calls we had with my grandparents. Both he and my grandma made consistent, and extraordinary efforts to be a part of my life. They really helped me to understand what it feels like to be truly cherished. We talked on the phone almost every week, they came out to see us twice a year (minimum), made extra trips for things like graduations and confirmations, piled into the family van for family vacations with us, and even traveled all the way to Guam to see us when my dad was stationed there. I miss my grandpa every single day. He has been gone for over 10 years, but sometimes it feels like only moments. He would have been so excited to come to my wedding. In those 10+ years I have missed him at every Christmas, graduation, and celebration. The truth is, however that Alzheimer's had slowly taken him away even before his passing finally did.

Among my many faults, I struggle when it comes to having patience. I’ve matured over the years and have developed more patience, but I still have a long ways to go. My grandpa modeled saintly levels of patience (except for maybe when he’d had an exceptionally rough night playing cards :)). He took me and my sisters out on the lake in his old boat and patiently tried to teach us to water ski. Time and time again we would fall in the water and he never was annoyed, or angry - he would laugh with us and give us a few pointers and then we would try again. He also showed me how to value humor. Man oh man could my grandpa laugh! His smile was wide, and his eyes were bright as he would find humor in the little things in life. He also could dance the night away, especially to a good polka! He would randomly start dancing to a tune he made up, but one I can still hear when I think of him, and grab whoever was closest and swing us around. He helped me not to care what others thought about my moves, but rather that I was connecting with my partner. He was always so incredibly proud of me, and really loved me for who I was. He taught me to look for those qualities in the man I chose to marry. I look back and wish there was more time with him, to laugh together and visit. To play cards, and talk about the future.

My grandpa was also selflessly devoted to his family. He loved my Grandma, Dad and my Aunt very much and it was obvious that his decision making was always anchored in what was best for them over his own wants. I have heard my dad tell many stories about the lessons and memories he has of my grandpa when he was growing up, and I’m grateful my grandpa was such a great father to my own Dad. God designed my grandpa to be the perfect father for my Dad, and my Dad the perfect Dad for me. I would not trade my Dad for anyone in the world. I’m very blessed to have such strong role models who I love very much. My grandpa could have made other choices and modeled different behaviors, but he aligned himself and his family with God and His teachings and let that guide his actions.

As my grandpa began to show more and more signs of Alzheimer's, our family had to helplessly stand by and watch him suffer from lack of memory. We had to watch him slowly slip away even though he was physically still standing there. I could feel when I hugged him that he was not always sure of who I was, or remember the long history we shared. This man, who had spent his entire life helping everyone he possibly could, was robbed of the memories that he loved. He was robbed of the confidence and assurance his life’s experiences had given him. I cherished the moments when I would see a glimpse of the sparkle in his eye, which became further and further apart.

Not long before my grandpa passed, the doctors discovered progressive lung cancer in his body. We were forced as a family to wonder if we had failed him by not catching this sooner. We had to wonder if he had suffered symptoms, but could not remember them long enough to share with us or the doctors. Alzheimer’s had changed him from the patient, loving grandpa that I knew to someone who was frustrated easily and often quiet since he was not sure of his surroundings. If given his right mind, my grandpa would have never chosen those behaviors. My family and his community never once faltered in their love for him - the true essence of who he was for so many years was not so easily washed away by Alzheimer’s for those who knew him. It just made it so incredibly painful to witness.

Not long ago, we realized that my grandma is also showing signs of Alzheimer’s. All of those emotions that we went through with my grandpa have come flooding back. I miss her and she is still here. I love her and she does not always remember who I am. She wakes up every day, recognizing less and less of the surroundings that she once considered home. Can you even imagine what that must be like? The fear that comes with not recognizing the people and places around you. Selfishly, I will also miss her at my wedding. She would have loved to be there, and would have bent over backwards to make that day special with nothing but joy in her heart. She used to make us these amazing cream cheese mints for graduation parties, and so many yummy treats over Christmas. She always let us play dress up with her clothes, shoes, and jewelry, and she used to know our family’s history better than anyone. She used to go to extraordinary efforts to include everyone and invite everyone to gatherings. Even now, when she remembers, she insists on not leaving anyone out and is as selfless and generous a person as I have ever known. Her generosity and love for our family has truly known no bounds. It breaks my heart to know that she cannot be a part of my wedding in the way I would like. I’m so grateful to her for how she has modeled hospitality to me over my life. She is one of the people who has inspired my love of cooking, baking, and connecting with people over a great meal. She has taught me the joy you get when creating something for someone to make them feel special and appreciated. I want to be able to remove this burden from her, and let her enjoy her senior years with the amazing memories she’s created. I would give so much just to visit with her as we bake spaghetti pie and learn more about love she poured into every dish she made and every heart that has walked into her life.


We are hoping that there will be a cure for this disease in the near future, and are humbly asking for your support towards the Alzheimer’s Association in lieu of gifts. The truth is, that both of us would give up all we had to have more time with our loved ones when they were not suffering from Alzheimer’s. We would like our wedding to help others retain their own priceless memories of moments like this in their lives. We want everyone to be able to age without the fear of slowly forgetting all the many blessings God showered upon them throughout their lives. Thank you for honoring us and our loved ones by reading our tribute to them. We would also greatly appreciate your heartfelt prayers for those who suffer from Alzheimer’s…. That they may never forget the love of Christ or the faces of the ones they love on Earth.



With heartfelt thanks,

Kyle & Ann